inbox (cdc)

[whatishate]

uchiha.sasuke@cdc.org
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[whatishate]

FROM: uchiha.sasuke@cdc.org

You can't magically be something just because it's unacceptable not to be. And telling yourself that isn't going to make it true.

FROM: uchiha.sasuke@cdc.org

I don't worry for that many people, so you'll damn well let me if I feel like it.

[paraclete]

[Woah. How does he... deal with... this.]

FROM: nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org

I wasn't trying to dismiss you. I only want you to spend yourself on worthwhile endeavors.

FROM: nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org

I have lasted this whole time. I can last a while longer.

[whatishate]

FROM: uchiha.sasuke@cdc.org

What will just lasting do for you?

[paraclete]

FROM: nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org

Provide me with an occasion to succeed. I'm good at biding my time.

[whatishate]

FROM: uchiha.sasuke@cdc.org

And what if you miss the right occasion because you were too busy just lasting to see it?

[paraclete]

FROM: nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org

What is it that you would prefer for me to do, exactly?

[whatishate]

FROM: uchiha.sasuke@cdc.org

Come to terms with the fact that you're not alright instead of trying to insist otherwise.

FROM: uchiha.sasuke@cdc.org

And work from there.

[paraclete]

FROM: nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org

You're pretty cunning. I was the one worrying about you.

[whatishate]

FROM: uchiha.sasuke@cdc.org

Yes, but I'm fine.

FROM: uchiha.sasuke@cdc.org

So I've shifted the concern.

[paraclete]

FROM: nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org

What should I do to help you believe that I'm also fine?

[whatishate]

FROM: uchiha.sasuke@cdc.org

I'd have to see you first.

[paraclete]

FROM: nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org

You're free to come visit whenever you like.

[whatishate]

FROM: uchiha.sasuke@cdc.org

I'm sure.

FROM: uchiha.sasuke@cdc.org

What room are you in?

[paraclete]

FROM: nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org

I stay in 023. I'm not there right now, but I duck in when most people are sleeping.

[whatishate]

FROM: uchiha.sasuke@cdc.org

If you're not there, then where should I meet you?

[paraclete]

FROM: nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org

Shinji-kun's in the medical bay, so I'm there. If you wanted to, you could meet me outside.

[It's not like Shinji desperately needs to be there anymore, but Kaworu has a certain amount of paranoia.]

[whatishate]

FROM: uchiha.sasuke@cdc.org

Alright. I'll be there.

[And as usual, he'll be prompt about it.]

[paraclete]

[Kaworu will be waiting dutifully around the entrance to the med bay. It's not long ago at all that the snows began to dispel, but Kaworu is dressed awkwardly: grey flannel pants (pajamas?), a thin purple t-shirt, and one long scarf all coiled around his neck and shoulders. His hair is a little fussier than usual, like he's been combing through it with his fingers. While he's waiting, he seems to realize this, because he slides one hand from his pocket and pats at his fluffy hair half-heartedly. It doesn't help much.

But at least he doesn't look like he's been missing sleep. He slept on Day 75, allowed himself a nap after Christmas festivities on Day 76, and then has been awake all through the biohazard fiasco. His body's definitely fine; he boasts no panda eyes, and he's no paler than his usual chalky self. If his body language is a little sharper, a little more angled, well, he's trying to rein that in. He wills his shoulders to be loose, and succeeds, mostly. He wills his brow not to crease. That's a work in progress.

His face doesn't hold its usual contentedness, but his muscles don't twitch to reveal the psychosomatic illness he feels. The nausea is well suppressed. His eyes are closed, and now his raised fingers are feeling along the hairline at the back of his neck, catching a lock that sticks out carelessly. Could use a trim, maybe...

Overall, he does look okay, if perhaps not in pristine condition.]

[whatishate]

[Sasuke gives him a good look over when he arrives. In fact he's staring at him as soon as he's within view. When he stops the look just intensifies.]

... Better.

[He'll concede that. He's not going to assume that Kaworu can't hide it if he's feeling worse than he looks, but he'll at least give him points for not appearing to be half dead and distracted this time around.]

But I'm going to continue to worry for your mental health.

How's Shinji?

[paraclete]

[It doesn't make sense. It just does not make sense to him. Nobody has worried "for his mental health." Nobody should be worrying; Kaworu can bear everything that he sees and experiences. If he can't, it's his own failure. Stranger still is how Sasuke's single utterance of Better makes Kaworu feel almost like a child. Kaworu glances to Sasuke's face, his discomfort only mildly evident, but then his eyes soften considerably, and he brings his hand down from his hair to slip back into his pocket.]

He says he's feeling much better, [he concedes, looking ahead of himself.] And his body isn't showing those symptoms anymore... just fatigue.

[whatishate]

How long was he sick for?

[He doesn't have to ask how long Kaworu had been watching him, as both answers would be the same.]

[paraclete]

He started showing symptoms when the majority did. He's very... [Kaworu shifts, giving his weight from one foot to the other, fingers twisting in his pockets. One shoulder raises slightly.] He didn't really have protection. But as soon as the treatment was broadcasted, he received it.

[whatishate]

I thought greens had some safeguards. Maybe I was wrong.

[He'd only been certain of their own.]

Everyone should invest in masks the next time the store opens.

[He should have invested in some himself, then he could have passed them out.]

[paraclete]

There was equipment, but by the time a biohazard had been announced... [His expression twitches: it's subtle, but he's making a face.] He just breathes so much, [Kaworu says, verging on sounding helpless.] It only took a little time between the realization of danger and finding him something to wear. But "a little time" is all it takes for someone fragile to...

[whatishate]

Most people here breathe. It's an unfortunate side-effect of being human. Or whatever other species is here.

[He watches Kaworu carefully still.]

Have you been frantic?